Subscribe in a ReaderIf you’ve been putting up with a mediocre marriage for far too long, and are willing to really look at yourself and see if there’s anything you can do to improve it, read on. This list isn’t a simple, pat answer for troubled relationships. There are certainly times when professional help is needed. But it does offer simple solutions that we don’t always think about as we go through the daily routine of married life.
Over the next week, work through this list. Add one idea per day and see if your marriage doesn’t look brighter in 7 days.
1. Make up your mind to change. This is where it all starts and is the single most important thing you can do to improve your marriage. Without a commitment, without making up your mind to make it better, it won’t. Plain and simple. Decide today to get up of that mundane couch and do something. Meditate on: Romans 12:2
2. Pray. It might be necessary to tweak your prayers, which may consist of “Lord, change my husband/wife,” to “change me, Lord.” If you pray according to God’s will (and prospering in your marriage IS God’s will), He will hear you and will be faithful to answer. Meditate on: John 16:23, 24
3. Focus on the positive. Your actions always follow your thoughts. If you constantly focus on your spouse’s negative qualities, your attitude and actions will not be positive. As difficult as it might be, try to choose one or two qualities you love about your spouse and focus on those instead. You’ll find that when you do, immediately, your feelings will begin to change. Meditate on: Philippians 4:8
4. Hold your tongue. How many times are we tempted to (or do we) blurt something out without thought of the effect our words will have? According to Proverbs 18:21, the tongue can speak life or death. Decide to speak life into your marriage. Today, when you feel the urge to say something sarcastic or ugly or just not very nice, bite down on that tongue. If you can’t find bring yourself to say something kind, at least offer a smile. Meditate on: James 3:15
5. See eye to eye. No, this isn’t saying you need to agree on everything. It means that when your spouse speaks, look him or her in the eye and truly listen. Stop doing the dishes, turn off the television, take your eyes off that computer screen and refocus your attention. This simple action tells your spouse that you value them and desire to hear what they have to say. Even if it’s during Survivor. Meditate on: James 1:19
6. Praise. Everyone loves to be complimented, adored, appreciated and praised. Do you easily pat a co-worker on the back? Do you find yourself complimenting your friends? Then why is so hard to show appreciation for the one you married? Make taking each other for granted a thing of the past. Look for things to praise. Does he take out the garbage every week without complaining? Does she make sure you always have clean clothes in your closet? There are always things to compliment and acknowledge. A simple “thank you” is sometimes all it takes to reignite the spark that’s fizzled. Meditate on: Proverbs 31:28
7. Give it to God. When you dedicate your efforts to the Lord, the results are in His hands, not yours. That’s such a relief, isn’t it? You don’t have to stress about it anymore! You do your part, such as following the previous six suggestions, and let God do the rest. If you are faithful to do what’s right, you will be rewarded – ultimately with a better marriage. Meditate on: Galatians 6:9
Diligently implementing these things gives you a great start to improving a mundane marriage. Start today and see your marriage begin to climb to a new level in just one week!
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